I’m in my 11th year as an entrepreneur and I have to be honest that running a business while raising my daughter has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

No one prepares you for the amount of work it requires to carry, birth and raise a child.

How hard it is on your body. The years of being climbed on, pulled at, non-stop tantrums, breastfeeding, being touched out.

How much guilt I’ve carried because there’s no village and I felt like I was failing in motherhood and business.

All of the visible and invisible labor, domestic labor, emotional labor, taking care of myself and a small child, running my business, holding clients, going through my own portals of growth and expansion or contraction.

I couldn’t keep up because I was so exhausted all of the time. And people love to shame women who have big, audacious dreams, prioritize their own desires and careers, need a lot of alone time and want more than to just be a mother.

No, that makes you selfish, self-centered, a bad mother (according to the patriarchy, let’s be clear).

It was easier when I could pop her in my leopard print baby carrier and wear her for hours.

When I had more support like nannies and house cleaners. Virtual assistants and social media managers. Which I paid out of my own pocket, NOT my partner.

And even then, it was still hard. Sleepless nights, endless feeding, holding and managing team, clients, responsibilities.

But now she’s almost 7 and I’m working through some health issues that came from living in survival mode and essentially holding multiple full-time “jobs” simultaneously.

Because they ARE work. They ARE jobs.

A business.
Motherhood.
Managing a household, appointments, finding childcare, etc.
Taking care of myself.

The resentment of having to ask my partner to do the dishes for the millionth time. Or having to assign him tasks and micromanage when all I want is for him to take charge.

And still feeling disappointed and let down, like I don’t have enough support, even with a partner who’s changed a lot, done so much inner work and is trying.

Who I have deep mutual respect, love and hot sex with (but also feel undervalued, under-appreciated and exploited by at times, because the patriarchy STLL infiltrates our relationship).

It’s not really enough and it will never truly be equal. No matter what they do.

Because motherhood is WORK.

It’s hours of daily labor that we’re expected to do for free.

Goddess forbid we demand to be compensated for our labor. Being asked to sacrifice so much.

Stuff I never agreed to sacrifice, stuff I didn’t know I was agreeing to when I became a partner and mother, yet the patriarchy demands.

Our society is built on the backs of exhausted women who are expected to perform all of the labor for free and if she dare ask to be compensated…she’s called entitled, selfish, a leech.

She’s shamed by other women. “Motherhood is a privilege.”

She’s told it’s an honor, what’s expected, you should have kept your legs closed.

And judged by men who will NEVER understand what it’s like to be the default parent and live in a world that devalues them.

To have HOURS of unpaid, expected labor automatically added to your plate every day simply because you have a uterus.

So if you’re a mother running a business and it feels HARD—I see you. I get it. You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. You’re not ungrateful.

You’re NOT a bad mother. You’re a woman with needs, desires, a purpose beyond just motherhood. And that is holy.

If you’re a woman who’s single and/or childfree. I support you. I see you.

If you’re a woman who’s on the fence about partnership, domestic life or marriage, motherhood…I see you AND please don’t take these decisions lightly.

They have more costs than most women are willing to admit and I believe we need to be more honest and stop judging and shaming women for the choices they make…whether they choose to stay single and/or child-free, choose to leave their partners, choose to date or not date, choose to have children or get married or not.

But one thing is clear: we need to be approaching money, sex, men/lovers/marriage/partnership and motherhood decisions from a place of CENTERING OURSELVES.

Our own desires, pleasure, potential, wants and needs.

Our own lives need to be front and center not on the sidelines or back burner.

You’re the main character, not the supporting role or random extra in the background no one notices.

This is why I’m opening my SEX MONEY POWER membership soon for women who want to drip in sex, money and power.

Where we can de-center the patriarchy, male gaze, men, become the self-centered woman and step into our FULL power, eros and freedom as women. TOGETHER.

Because collective, collaboration and community is essential. It’s how they divide us. Divide women against one another and the patriarchy remains.

More details are coming soon.

Until then, have you listened to my latest podcast episode? Listen to “where I stand on women, money, sex, motherhood & men (splitting bills 50/50, trad wives & feminism).”